Things to do when you're young, dumb, and wasted

I use to come up with great/dumb ideas when drinking with friends.
For instance:

You know those oil pumps that look like see-saws? Try climbing up and riding on one sometime. It's not as easy as it looks. But it is as much fun as it looks once you're up there. Just don't fall off.

Grabbing random garbage cans and dragging them from a moving car is good, American, teenage fun. Tossing them from the moving car into mailboxes is like a 2-for-1 vandalism bargain. Especially if the mailbox falls off the post or disintegrates all together. You get bonus points for that shit.

Power Hour with beer is another good one. If you can complete the hour without puking, that is. Drink one shot (1 ounce) of beer every minute for one hour. It's not as easy as it sounds. It ends up being the equivalent of drinking 1.5 forties in an hour. I drank the full 40, hurled, and continued. Then I hurled some more and threw in the towel. Haven't tried it since, but I've got some free time this weekend.

We use to party down by the remains of an old sawmill when I was in high school. It was remote and far from the highway. Driving alongside the train tracks was the only way to access this hideaway. Trains would come by at midnight and we would stand as close as we dared, screaming at the top of our lungs. One night I had a brilliant idea. I would drink beer all night and hold my piss until the train came by. Then I would proceed to piss on every railcar that passed by. I neglected to mention this to those partiers standing downwind of me when the train passed and the pissing began. Needless to say, they were pretty angry with me for wetting all over them.

Just a note for those who haven't tried this. If you're drunk and sitting at a railroad crossing, waiting for the train to go by, the flashing arm that lowers will not support your body weight when it rises. Sitting on the arm will probably cause a malfunction, and the damn thing will never go back up.

Driving down the beach at 4 in the morning is fun. But when you decide to pull the emergency brake and do a donut, don't turn the wheel into the direction of the ocean. Bad things can happen. Especially if the tide is coming in. Also, tow truck drivers will help drunk teenagers out of a tough spot for all the cash in their pockets and a few tokes. If you value your car, do not drive it into the sea. You'll never get all the sand and salt out. ever.

When I lived in the dorms, I blacked out after a night of $2 Cuervo shots. It's odd when complete strangers approach you the next day and ask questions you cannot possibly answer. Like, "Why did you piss on my door?" and "Why did you throw my roommate out of his bed and lock him out of our room?" or "Do you know anything about the missing fire extinguishers?".

If you couldn't tell, I grew up in a very small town. There was not much to do but drink, smoke weed, and raise hell. It was great fun.