Tuesday, May 24, 2005

There is no substitute for hard work. - Thomas Edison

I have friends who graduated college without ever working a day in their lives. I do not understand this. I've held a steady job since the day I turned 16 and had to buy gas for my gas guzzling '84 Chevy Silverado. Before reaching the legal working age, I also held several odd jobs to make money for fireworks and video games. If I were to update my resume today (which I'm considering) and include a complete work history it would take about 5 pages. That's assuming I could remember all the names, dates, and addresses of places I worked.

10 - 16: Odd Jobs - Picked blueberries, mowed yards, raked leaves, killed crows, shelled peas, split firewood, massaged shoulders, bussed tables, pulled weeds, etc.
16-17: Grocery store bitch - sacked, stocked, swept, mopped, and crashed the shopping carts (1.5 years)
17: Pizza boy at convenience store - cooked pizzas, ate pizzas, drank free sodas, and sat on my ass (3 months)
17-18: Boring rig operator - woke up early, rode in truck, dug holes, bored holes, ran cable, cursed, swore, sweated, and got a nice tan (3 months in summer).
18: Landscape technician - pushed lawnmower, trimmed hedges, ran weedeater, and got a nice tan (6 months).
18-20: Assistant warehouse manager for beer company - drove forklift, loaded pallets, counted beers, drank beers, destroyed beers, delivered beers, amazed friends by showing them the mountains of beers, and played home run derby with balls of cellophane. (2 years)
20: Flower delivery guy - delivered flowers and smoked too much pot. (4 months)
20-21: Short order cook at bowling alley - flipped burgers, fried stuff, served drinks, got fat, made a damn good quesadilla, and bowled almost every day. (6 months)
21-22: Desk clerk at bowling alley - sprayed shoes, handed out shoes, counted shoes, stopped people from stealing shoes, sold socks, counted money, bowled more, and got drunk at work. (1 year)
22-23: Bartender - served drinks, got drunk, got phone numbers, and counted money (The best year of my life).
23 - 24: Sheet metal worker - woke up early, rode in truck, cursed, swore, hurt myself, sweated, laughed, installed air ducts, went to Mexico, got drunk, learned a little spanish, and took long lunches. (2 months)
24: Sales representative telecom - bullshitted with people, drove around, knocked on doors, introduced myself, got yelled at, bothered people, hated life, and felt like a sleazy salesman. (6 months)
25: Process technician - sample things, watch things, write stuff, tell people what to do, get told what to do, attend boring meetings, rub temples, curse, swear, sit in AC, and watch the clock. (10 months and counting).

The Spurs left Phoenix with a 2-0 lead in the series and the next two games are in San Antonio. I predicted Spurs in 5, but it may well end up being a clean sweep. Get out the brooms.

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