Well I'm off again. Making the trip home for the third straight weekend. I'll probably take it slow tonight, but will no doubt be driving like a bat out of hell on the return trip. Perhaps I can break the new record of 4 hours and 15 minutes. Maybe if I pack light and roll through all the stop signs....
A friend sent this to me. It's a nice virtual stress reliever, but I still prefer the old fashioned way of popping those little bubbles. We have a giant roll of oversized bubble wrap at work. I can't resist it.
Peace out.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Three Man Hat
The topic of discussion during lunch today was drinking games. I lived for drinking games in high school. My all-time favorite drinking game is Three Man. There are many regional versions of the game. I felt it was necessary to post this for posterity. This is the Kountze version.
Necessary equipment - pair of dice, hat
Begin by rolling one die until someone gets a 3. That person puts on the Three Man Hat (usually something ugly or ridiculous) and obviously becomes Three Man. Roll the dice and drink beer.
Outcome of the roll determines whether someone drinks or the dice are passed to the next person.
1,1 - Double - Give away 2 drinks or make drinker roll to determine number of drinks.
1,2 - A three. Three Man drinks.
1,3 - Three Man. (Any time a 3 shows, Three Man drinks)
1,4 - Everyone touches their chin. Last person drinks.
1,5 - Everyone touches their forehead. Last person drinks.
1,6 - Seven to the Left. (Person to the left of the roller drinks)
2,2 - Double. Give away 4 drinks or make drinker roll to determine number of drinks.
2,3 - Three Man.
2,4 - Pass the dice.
2,5 - Seven to the Left.
2,6 - Pass the dice.
3,3 - Double, plus the Roller puts on the Three Man Hat and becomes Three Man. Three Man drinks two.
3,4- Seven to the Left. Three Man.
3,5 - Three Man.
3,6 - Three Man. Nine is Social (Everyone drinks)
4,4 - Double.
4,5 - Nine is Social.
4,6 - Pass the dice.
5,5 - Double.
5,6 - Eleven to the Right. (Person to the right of the roller drinks)
6,6 - Double.
If anyone rolls three doubles in one turn, that person gets to make up a rule. Popular rules were No Cussing, No saying drink, drank, or drunk, and making yourself Thumbmaster. Whenever the Thumbmaster put his thumb on the table everyone else had to. The last person had to drink.
Cheers.
Necessary equipment - pair of dice, hat
Begin by rolling one die until someone gets a 3. That person puts on the Three Man Hat (usually something ugly or ridiculous) and obviously becomes Three Man. Roll the dice and drink beer.
Outcome of the roll determines whether someone drinks or the dice are passed to the next person.
1,1 - Double - Give away 2 drinks or make drinker roll to determine number of drinks.
1,2 - A three. Three Man drinks.
1,3 - Three Man. (Any time a 3 shows, Three Man drinks)
1,4 - Everyone touches their chin. Last person drinks.
1,5 - Everyone touches their forehead. Last person drinks.
1,6 - Seven to the Left. (Person to the left of the roller drinks)
2,2 - Double. Give away 4 drinks or make drinker roll to determine number of drinks.
2,3 - Three Man.
2,4 - Pass the dice.
2,5 - Seven to the Left.
2,6 - Pass the dice.
3,3 - Double, plus the Roller puts on the Three Man Hat and becomes Three Man. Three Man drinks two.
3,4- Seven to the Left. Three Man.
3,5 - Three Man.
3,6 - Three Man. Nine is Social (Everyone drinks)
4,4 - Double.
4,5 - Nine is Social.
4,6 - Pass the dice.
5,5 - Double.
5,6 - Eleven to the Right. (Person to the right of the roller drinks)
6,6 - Double.
If anyone rolls three doubles in one turn, that person gets to make up a rule. Popular rules were No Cussing, No saying drink, drank, or drunk, and making yourself Thumbmaster. Whenever the Thumbmaster put his thumb on the table everyone else had to. The last person had to drink.
Cheers.
What are the odds?
Apparently lightning CAN strike twice. Remember how I told you we lost our Monday night softball game on a STRIKEOUT? Well, we lost our Tuesday night softball game on a STRIKEOUT as well. 2 Strikeouts in SLOW-PITCH (underhanded) SOFTBALL in 2 nights... to end the game. Pitiful.
Either the Gods hate me, or I am playing ball with a bunch of freakin' waterheads. Not that I did too good myself.
In other news, I have a tiny little hangover this morning. It's quickly going away thanks to granola bar, water bottle, and ibuprofen.
Apparently it is going to become a short-term tradition for my circle of friends to have beers at Gators after softball and sing horrible karaoke.
I get there early, thinking I could have a few beers and just head out before midnight. Wrong.
I get stuck at a table between the insanely happy Newlyweds and Bubba-With-a-Ring-Burning-a-Hole-in-His-Pocket. The ring is worth more than my life. Had to listen to wedding and engagement garbage for the first hour. Finally, they caught on to my gunshot-to-the-mouth mime act and dropped the subject.
Then Choate rapped for about 6 minutes and several of us sang "You've Lost That Loving Feeling". Good times were had by all.
Either the Gods hate me, or I am playing ball with a bunch of freakin' waterheads. Not that I did too good myself.
In other news, I have a tiny little hangover this morning. It's quickly going away thanks to granola bar, water bottle, and ibuprofen.
Apparently it is going to become a short-term tradition for my circle of friends to have beers at Gators after softball and sing horrible karaoke.
I get there early, thinking I could have a few beers and just head out before midnight. Wrong.
I get stuck at a table between the insanely happy Newlyweds and Bubba-With-a-Ring-Burning-a-Hole-in-His-Pocket. The ring is worth more than my life. Had to listen to wedding and engagement garbage for the first hour. Finally, they caught on to my gunshot-to-the-mouth mime act and dropped the subject.
Then Choate rapped for about 6 minutes and several of us sang "You've Lost That Loving Feeling". Good times were had by all.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Boo to you, blogger
Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.
I give up on bloggers comments. Haloscan is so much easier to use and it's free. I recommend that everyone sign up by clicking the link above.
I give up on bloggers comments. Haloscan is so much easier to use and it's free. I recommend that everyone sign up by clicking the link above.
Monday, March 28, 2005
Live this down
Oh, we lost a heartbreaker tonight. Had a chance to knock off an undefeated team and choked big time.
I should walk on all fours, grown a beard and horns, and eat random objects. I mean that I was the goat. Two costly errors and rinky-dink popup for the first out of the last inning.
But at least I can say that I wasn't the final out of the game. That poor kid. His first game playing with us and he STRIKES OUT... IN SOFTBALL.... TO END THE GAME. Poor kid.
I need ice and beer.
I should walk on all fours, grown a beard and horns, and eat random objects. I mean that I was the goat. Two costly errors and rinky-dink popup for the first out of the last inning.
But at least I can say that I wasn't the final out of the game. That poor kid. His first game playing with us and he STRIKES OUT... IN SOFTBALL.... TO END THE GAME. Poor kid.
I need ice and beer.
It IS a race
I play a game when driving on long trips. It's called "Make the Fastest Time Possible". I prepare for this game by drinking as little fluids as possible before departing.
I made it from the gas station in Kountze to my front door in Bedford in 4 hours and 15 minutes yesterday. That is a new record for the Saturn, but it fell about 5 minutes short of the record for my old truck (it was a Chevy with a 350). I even stopped to pee once (3 minutes). The trip usually takes about 4 1/2 to 5 hours, depending on traffic. I was flying yesterday. God bless my little radar detector.
My Paw-paw also likes to play this game with me, although the course is somewhat longer when we compete against each other. The trip from Kountze to Creede, Colorado should take a normal person about 20 hours. I've made it in 18 and my Paw-paw claims to have made it in 17 1/2.
He really gets focused when he's driving/racing. One time, he and my Granny were travelling to Colorado and making excellent time. While my Granny was asleep in the back, he pulled over for a quick pit stop. While he was in the bathroom, she got up to go herself. Paw-paw finished first and got back on the road, thinking she was still asleep in the back. He left Granny at a gas station in the middle of nowhere.
Eventually, a state trooper was radioed and informed of the situation. He caught up to my Paw-paw about an hour down the road and forced him to return to the gas station. To this day, my grandfather claims that he would've made it in 17 hours flat, if he didn't have to go back.
I made it from the gas station in Kountze to my front door in Bedford in 4 hours and 15 minutes yesterday. That is a new record for the Saturn, but it fell about 5 minutes short of the record for my old truck (it was a Chevy with a 350). I even stopped to pee once (3 minutes). The trip usually takes about 4 1/2 to 5 hours, depending on traffic. I was flying yesterday. God bless my little radar detector.
My Paw-paw also likes to play this game with me, although the course is somewhat longer when we compete against each other. The trip from Kountze to Creede, Colorado should take a normal person about 20 hours. I've made it in 18 and my Paw-paw claims to have made it in 17 1/2.
He really gets focused when he's driving/racing. One time, he and my Granny were travelling to Colorado and making excellent time. While my Granny was asleep in the back, he pulled over for a quick pit stop. While he was in the bathroom, she got up to go herself. Paw-paw finished first and got back on the road, thinking she was still asleep in the back. He left Granny at a gas station in the middle of nowhere.
Eventually, a state trooper was radioed and informed of the situation. He caught up to my Paw-paw about an hour down the road and forced him to return to the gas station. To this day, my grandfather claims that he would've made it in 17 hours flat, if he didn't have to go back.
Friday, March 25, 2005
Easter Eggs & Crawfish
As you may or may not know, crawfish season is in full swing. I've been invited to a huge boil Saturday at an old college friend's home. I believe they will be cooking around 400 pounds of mudbugs. Can't wait.
Today will be reserved for washing the dog, getting a haircut, cleaning the apartment, driving back to Beaumont, and doing laundry at mom's house. Woo hoo.
Saturday will be much more exciting. I loves me some crawfish and beer.
Sunday will be for the mandatory church visit with the grandparents and hiding easter eggs for the little brother.
Happy Easter everyone.
Today will be reserved for washing the dog, getting a haircut, cleaning the apartment, driving back to Beaumont, and doing laundry at mom's house. Woo hoo.
Saturday will be much more exciting. I loves me some crawfish and beer.
Sunday will be for the mandatory church visit with the grandparents and hiding easter eggs for the little brother.
Happy Easter everyone.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
It's a race
The job has been a gargantuan cornucopia of fuck-ups today. Someone else's, not mine. The fallout will definitely mean more work is headed my way, though.
I've been walking quickly back and forth with documents to sign, read, review, or revise. Several people have commented on my stern expression and pissed-off disposition. I have little enthusiasm for work today. I am all business, no bullshit. Barely time to eat lunch.
The storm has somehow lulled long enough to type this.
A 6 month old project has been blown all to hell. Heads will roll. Angry phone calls will be made. Contracts and options will be reviewed. We will lose money that we cannot afford to lose.
Thank God I have job security. No one else knows my system. One of the few benefits of taking over an important position that was neglected in the past is that you can rethink and reorganize things to your liking.
"That was the old way. This is how we do it now" - I say that very often.
Maybe I should say another company is interested in talking to me. See how fast they offer a raise.
On the bright side, I am getting a free couch. Thanks, Caroline.
I've been walking quickly back and forth with documents to sign, read, review, or revise. Several people have commented on my stern expression and pissed-off disposition. I have little enthusiasm for work today. I am all business, no bullshit. Barely time to eat lunch.
The storm has somehow lulled long enough to type this.
A 6 month old project has been blown all to hell. Heads will roll. Angry phone calls will be made. Contracts and options will be reviewed. We will lose money that we cannot afford to lose.
Thank God I have job security. No one else knows my system. One of the few benefits of taking over an important position that was neglected in the past is that you can rethink and reorganize things to your liking.
"That was the old way. This is how we do it now" - I say that very often.
Maybe I should say another company is interested in talking to me. See how fast they offer a raise.
On the bright side, I am getting a free couch. Thanks, Caroline.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Read the label
I bought a huge bottle of ranch last week. I love ranch. Hidden Valley is the way to go. It's great on everything. Apparently, when I purchased this particular bottle, the thought of reading what was on the label never crossed my mind.
I get home and make a nice big chef salad. Then I drown the lettuce, tomatoes and turkey in the ranch. Tasted okay. A little different, but still tolerable.
I have since eaten another salad, a baked potato, and some jalapeno poppers with said bottle of ranch. Never looked at the bottle.
It wasn't until about 15 minutes ago that I finally read the label. It's freakin' Lite Ranch with Sour Cream. I'm throwing it out.
I get home and make a nice big chef salad. Then I drown the lettuce, tomatoes and turkey in the ranch. Tasted okay. A little different, but still tolerable.
I have since eaten another salad, a baked potato, and some jalapeno poppers with said bottle of ranch. Never looked at the bottle.
It wasn't until about 15 minutes ago that I finally read the label. It's freakin' Lite Ranch with Sour Cream. I'm throwing it out.
Not the worst, but damn close
The Tuesday softball team finally won a game. We barely (and I mean barely) eeked out a victory over the only other winless team last night.
The first game we played was a disaster. Only 6 guys showed up at gametime, so 2 scrubs from the co-ed league played with us until help arrived. Didn't matter, though. The other team crushed us in 3 innings. It was a mercy killing.
I'm a freakin' retard. After recommending that everyone buy an Edgefest ticket, I forgot to get one of my own. Now they are all sold out. FUCK!
Oh well, I have my cousin's wedding the day before anyway. I'll probably be way to hungover.
The first game we played was a disaster. Only 6 guys showed up at gametime, so 2 scrubs from the co-ed league played with us until help arrived. Didn't matter, though. The other team crushed us in 3 innings. It was a mercy killing.
I'm a freakin' retard. After recommending that everyone buy an Edgefest ticket, I forgot to get one of my own. Now they are all sold out. FUCK!
Oh well, I have my cousin's wedding the day before anyway. I'll probably be way to hungover.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Whiplash and gas
We split the doubleheader last night. Killed the other team in the first game and got killed in the second. I threw about nine pitches in the losing effort and gave up 5 runs on a walk, 2 doubles, a triple and a homerun. Coach pulled me in the top of the first with no outs. That is one horrible stat line. My ERA would have to be in the 40s at least. But it's softball, who cares.
Playing another doubleheader tonight. I am going to be one tired, hurt puppy come Wednesday morning.
Let me be clear about this, I am not offended by the ass-wiping frog. I find it to be absolutely hilarious. Probably unappropriate and definitely disgusting, but funny nonetheless. Potty humor is my cup of tea. I will be an old man on my death bed, farting and laughing.
So the fact that I keep bringing up this ass-wiping frog is not to make a stand for decency in advertising or anything. I just wish I knew what to call him...
(for those who are confused, the frog is a mascot for Pampers' new Kandoo line of bathroom products for children "to help them master the bathroom")
Playing another doubleheader tonight. I am going to be one tired, hurt puppy come Wednesday morning.
Let me be clear about this, I am not offended by the ass-wiping frog. I find it to be absolutely hilarious. Probably unappropriate and definitely disgusting, but funny nonetheless. Potty humor is my cup of tea. I will be an old man on my death bed, farting and laughing.
So the fact that I keep bringing up this ass-wiping frog is not to make a stand for decency in advertising or anything. I just wish I knew what to call him...
(for those who are confused, the frog is a mascot for Pampers' new Kandoo line of bathroom products for children "to help them master the bathroom")
Monday, March 21, 2005
Ubiquitous Amphibian
Went to Wal-Mart last week. The ass-wiping frog was everywhere. They had him on special. He was across the aisle from me when I got my razors ($13 for an 8 pack!!! Fukcing Gillette.)
I also saw him in the baby food section on my way to the beer (30 pack of 'Stones for the beach). And he is boldy wiping his booty on a display at the front of the store.
I'm waiting for the commercial to air with him pulling out a Kandoo and bending over. Then I will know the apocalypse is upon us for sure.
I also saw him in the baby food section on my way to the beer (30 pack of 'Stones for the beach). And he is boldy wiping his booty on a display at the front of the store.
I'm waiting for the commercial to air with him pulling out a Kandoo and bending over. Then I will know the apocalypse is upon us for sure.
Free Lunch
Today we are interviewing a prospective new boss for my department. I'm going to lunch with him and my current boss. They both have a PhD from respectable schools. I have a BS in BS from the easiest school to get into and the hardest school to get out of. This should be great fun (heavy sarcasm).
At least I get a free lunch out of the deal. Wonder how pissed the accounting department would get if I ordered the ribeye and a slice of cheesecake.
In other news, my sunburn has provoked a couple of dumbass comments this morning.
"Looks like somebody coulda used a little more sunscreen this weekend!"
"What's up, coon?" (a reference to the white circles around my eyes, not a racial slur)
I highly recommend that anyone reading this in the DFW area go buy your Edgefest tickets today. There are going to be some really good bands playing this year. Chevelle, Jimmy Eat World, Sum 41, The Exies, Billy Idol (!!! how cool is that?), and lots more that I can't remember right now.
At least I get a free lunch out of the deal. Wonder how pissed the accounting department would get if I ordered the ribeye and a slice of cheesecake.
In other news, my sunburn has provoked a couple of dumbass comments this morning.
"Looks like somebody coulda used a little more sunscreen this weekend!"
"What's up, coon?" (a reference to the white circles around my eyes, not a racial slur)
I highly recommend that anyone reading this in the DFW area go buy your Edgefest tickets today. There are going to be some really good bands playing this year. Chevelle, Jimmy Eat World, Sum 41, The Exies, Billy Idol (!!! how cool is that?), and lots more that I can't remember right now.
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Redneck Spring Break
Made it to the beach in 5 hours.
Spent the entire weekend driving up and down the beach.
Then drove 6 hours back home. Put about 700 miles on the Saturn.
Drank like an Irish sailor all weekend and ate fresh raw oysters.
Played horseshoes and washers on the beach. Lost every damn game.
I wore a hat, wifebeater and sunglasses, but refused sunscreen. So now I have the outline of the glasses and wifebeater in white where the rest of my body is bright tomato red. Also have a contrasting white and red forehead from the hat.
I have an appointment with skin cancer when I turn 30.
Saw four mulletts (would have been five but one was just a wig). Saw lot of boobs.
Danced with several lucky young ladies at Sharkys pub. (If you ever see me dance, please take my keys away. I will no doubt be slobbering stumbling drunk.)
Then it rained like crazy and I fell in the mud.
I love the beach.
Spent the entire weekend driving up and down the beach.
Then drove 6 hours back home. Put about 700 miles on the Saturn.
Drank like an Irish sailor all weekend and ate fresh raw oysters.
Played horseshoes and washers on the beach. Lost every damn game.
I wore a hat, wifebeater and sunglasses, but refused sunscreen. So now I have the outline of the glasses and wifebeater in white where the rest of my body is bright tomato red. Also have a contrasting white and red forehead from the hat.
I have an appointment with skin cancer when I turn 30.
Saw four mulletts (would have been five but one was just a wig). Saw lot of boobs.
Danced with several lucky young ladies at Sharkys pub. (If you ever see me dance, please take my keys away. I will no doubt be slobbering stumbling drunk.)
Then it rained like crazy and I fell in the mud.
I love the beach.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
The road goes on forever
Played a doubleheader last night. Lost 'em both. The number of errors committed was somewhere in the neighborhood of 30, maybe 40. Pitiful. We did hit the ball well. Right to the opposing players.
Hung around the ball park afterwards and had a few beers. That's right, they serve beer at this softball complex. A big plastic cup of most cold draft beer is $3. Yellowbelly is on special for $2.
Then it was on to Gators for food and more drink. But lo and behold Tuesday is karaoke night at Gators. The crowd I was with really likes karaoke. It was my job to help them drink up the courage to get on stage. I rarely intoxicate myself to the point of public displays, but was damn close to doing so last night. But then the bar closed and I was saved from embarassing myself.
I will be going out of town the next three weekends. This time it's for a little R&R down in Galveston. After that its the obligatory Easter visit to see the folks and go to church for the first time this year. Following that will be a visit home once more to attend a bachelor party for my poor unfortunate cousin. He's marrying his ex-wife's former best friend, who half our friends slept with in high school. Yes.
If I ever have to move back home, I'm going to carry a voice recorder around and write scripts for Springer. I wonder, does that show still come on?
Hung around the ball park afterwards and had a few beers. That's right, they serve beer at this softball complex. A big plastic cup of most cold draft beer is $3. Yellowbelly is on special for $2.
Then it was on to Gators for food and more drink. But lo and behold Tuesday is karaoke night at Gators. The crowd I was with really likes karaoke. It was my job to help them drink up the courage to get on stage. I rarely intoxicate myself to the point of public displays, but was damn close to doing so last night. But then the bar closed and I was saved from embarassing myself.
I will be going out of town the next three weekends. This time it's for a little R&R down in Galveston. After that its the obligatory Easter visit to see the folks and go to church for the first time this year. Following that will be a visit home once more to attend a bachelor party for my poor unfortunate cousin. He's marrying his ex-wife's former best friend, who half our friends slept with in high school. Yes.
If I ever have to move back home, I'm going to carry a voice recorder around and write scripts for Springer. I wonder, does that show still come on?
Monday, March 14, 2005
Little Other Brother
Took my little brother to the Dallas Aquarium and Texas Natural History Museum yesterday. Good educational fun. It was my mom's idea. She's a teacher.
The aquarium was cool - sharks, eels, fish, and a huge loggerhead snapping turtle with moss growing on his back. He made me hold his hand and asked me what things were. I read the labels and told him, or made it up if there was no label. He's 5, I could tell him anything and he'd believe it.
The museum was sort of lame until we got to the dinsoaur exhibit. They have a huge T-Rex complete with scary noises and flashing lights. I guess it was a little too real because he got scared and screamed bloody murder until I hauled him down the stairs and out the door.
I fear he is living a much more sheltered life than I did. When my mom had me she was 17 and my dad was 21 (I was a surprise). We lived in a neighborhood full of heathen bastard children from various redneck families. I was exposed to much of the debauchery and sin of this world before entering kindergarten. There were football games, fights, bike rides, baseball games, fights, and the occasional BB gun war. It was, and still is, hard to make me cry. (Except at funerals. I almost always cry at funerals.)
My brother lives in a nice quiet neighborhood near a golf course. There are 2 kids his age - a brother and sister, but they are mild and timid. He has "playdates" and has to wear a helmet when riding his bike.
A helmet. I didn't even have brakes on my bike. I had to stop by either putting one foot in the front tire (very dangerous - I have a lumpy head because of this) or draggin both feet on the ground (this will ruin a pair of shoes very quickly).
But on the other hand, I didn't exactly turn out to be the most well-adjusted young man. I have my problems. Perhaps he will be a better person because of, not in spite of, his environment.
sorry guys, it's monday and I am rambling.
The aquarium was cool - sharks, eels, fish, and a huge loggerhead snapping turtle with moss growing on his back. He made me hold his hand and asked me what things were. I read the labels and told him, or made it up if there was no label. He's 5, I could tell him anything and he'd believe it.
The museum was sort of lame until we got to the dinsoaur exhibit. They have a huge T-Rex complete with scary noises and flashing lights. I guess it was a little too real because he got scared and screamed bloody murder until I hauled him down the stairs and out the door.
I fear he is living a much more sheltered life than I did. When my mom had me she was 17 and my dad was 21 (I was a surprise). We lived in a neighborhood full of heathen bastard children from various redneck families. I was exposed to much of the debauchery and sin of this world before entering kindergarten. There were football games, fights, bike rides, baseball games, fights, and the occasional BB gun war. It was, and still is, hard to make me cry. (Except at funerals. I almost always cry at funerals.)
My brother lives in a nice quiet neighborhood near a golf course. There are 2 kids his age - a brother and sister, but they are mild and timid. He has "playdates" and has to wear a helmet when riding his bike.
A helmet. I didn't even have brakes on my bike. I had to stop by either putting one foot in the front tire (very dangerous - I have a lumpy head because of this) or draggin both feet on the ground (this will ruin a pair of shoes very quickly).
But on the other hand, I didn't exactly turn out to be the most well-adjusted young man. I have my problems. Perhaps he will be a better person because of, not in spite of, his environment.
sorry guys, it's monday and I am rambling.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
We are the champions
By the way, the Kountze Lions boys basketball team defeated Jim Nedney this afternoon and won the Texas 2A basketball championship. Was there ever any doubt?
Yeehaw
We went to the rodeo tonight. Good clean Fort Worth fun. My little brother puked in the parking lot. He couldn't handle the smells, so we left early. We did get to witness the calf scramble, however.
For those not familiar with it, the calf scramble is a rodeo tradition where a ribbon is tied to the tail of a young calf. The calf is released into an arena full of young children. The children try to get the ribbon off the calf's tail. The winner is given a prize. Sounds safe, right?
I tried not to laugh. I really did. But the calf was juking and running blindly about when he form tackled a little boy. It was a tense moment, then the kid got up and cried. Apparently he will live.
The winner was a little girl in a pink cowboy hat. I wonder how many poorly aimed little fingers went into that cow's butt before the ribbon came off.
For those not familiar with it, the calf scramble is a rodeo tradition where a ribbon is tied to the tail of a young calf. The calf is released into an arena full of young children. The children try to get the ribbon off the calf's tail. The winner is given a prize. Sounds safe, right?
I tried not to laugh. I really did. But the calf was juking and running blindly about when he form tackled a little boy. It was a tense moment, then the kid got up and cried. Apparently he will live.
The winner was a little girl in a pink cowboy hat. I wonder how many poorly aimed little fingers went into that cow's butt before the ribbon came off.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Gentlemen, start your engines
I am happy to say that the neighborhood situation is going extremely well. Came home yesterday and Jose was firing up the grill and soaking some brats in beer. I accepted the invitation to join them in their feast and drink beer while watching the basketball game. We got along well talking about sports, work, and drugs.
Turns out Jose is a HUGE racing fan. I am not. But the guy is so enthusiastic. He makes it sound like a drunken redneck festival. He says people start partying on Wednesday for the race on Sunday. That's freakin' awesome. Sounds like my kind of party. I'm now planning on going to the race in April and setting up camp in the parking lot. I wonder if I could grow a mullett by then.....
Turns out Jose is a HUGE racing fan. I am not. But the guy is so enthusiastic. He makes it sound like a drunken redneck festival. He says people start partying on Wednesday for the race on Sunday. That's freakin' awesome. Sounds like my kind of party. I'm now planning on going to the race in April and setting up camp in the parking lot. I wonder if I could grow a mullett by then.....
So proud...
Kountze defeated Salado this morning in the Texas High School Boys 2A State Basketball Tournament Semifinals. I'm sorry to say I don't have many details, but will provide them soon. I know you guys are dying to hear about it.
The Lions will face the winner of Howe and Jim Nedney at 2:30 pm tomorrow in the Championship game.
GO KOUNTZE!!!
The Lions will face the winner of Howe and Jim Nedney at 2:30 pm tomorrow in the Championship game.
GO KOUNTZE!!!
Thank you sir, may I have another?
That's what I should have been saying Tuesday night. My pitching debut for the Troopers did not go well. I gave it up like a drunk sophomore at prom. 14 runs in 3 innings. A looong homerun in the second.
And these guys were out for blood. They hit 3 or 4 frozen rope line drives back at the mound. I barely escaped with my testicle intact. I don't want to pitch anymore. Put me in right or something, coach. Shit.
And these guys were out for blood. They hit 3 or 4 frozen rope line drives back at the mound. I barely escaped with my testicle intact. I don't want to pitch anymore. Put me in right or something, coach. Shit.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Let's play a game
The rules:
1. Leave me a comment here saying "interview me."
2. I'll respond by asking you 5 questions in my comments section. They'll be different questions than the ones below.
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them 5 questions.My questions from Belldoorlover21:
1. If you had to go without one of the following for the rest of your life which would it be and justfy it. A shower, using deoderant, or brushing your teeth.
Brushing my teeth. I would use listerine and floss religiously.
2. What's the one thing you've done in the past you regret the most?
Got drunk and wrecked my grandfather's car.
3. If you were forced to be exiled to a small remote island what 3 things would you take with you?
A water purification system, a Rambo-style survival knife, and toilet paper. I'm a survivor. I'm assuming this is like a Robinson Crusoe island where I'm the only human inhabitant and I must feed and shelter myself.
4. If you could have any super human power what would you choose and why?
The ability to move things with my mind - telekinesis. I would just sit on my ass and work.
5. Is there anyone in your life who you would take a bullet for knowing that you had no chance to live from the wound?
My little brother Jarred. Wouldn't even think twice about it.
1. Leave me a comment here saying "interview me."
2. I'll respond by asking you 5 questions in my comments section. They'll be different questions than the ones below.
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them 5 questions.My questions from Belldoorlover21:
1. If you had to go without one of the following for the rest of your life which would it be and justfy it. A shower, using deoderant, or brushing your teeth.
Brushing my teeth. I would use listerine and floss religiously.
2. What's the one thing you've done in the past you regret the most?
Got drunk and wrecked my grandfather's car.
3. If you were forced to be exiled to a small remote island what 3 things would you take with you?
A water purification system, a Rambo-style survival knife, and toilet paper. I'm a survivor. I'm assuming this is like a Robinson Crusoe island where I'm the only human inhabitant and I must feed and shelter myself.
4. If you could have any super human power what would you choose and why?
The ability to move things with my mind - telekinesis. I would just sit on my ass and work.
5. Is there anyone in your life who you would take a bullet for knowing that you had no chance to live from the wound?
My little brother Jarred. Wouldn't even think twice about it.
This is Sportscenter
Another 2A Texas High School basketball update. The Kountze Lions moved one step closer to repeating as state champions by defeating district rival East Chambers this weekend. The Lions (34-2) are headed to Austin for the second straight season after winning the 3A championship last year. It is the fourth appearance at the state tournament in six years for Kountze.
The Lions dropped down in class this year due to the UIL realignment. They lost their head coach - Todd Sutherland left to take over at Hardin-Jefferson - and they nearly lost their best player - Ashton Hall transferred to Silsbee before returning to the Lions in time for basketball season.
But first-year coach Duane Joubert has Kountze headed back to Austin. And after his team's third win of the season over East Chambers on Saturday, he may have eliminated any doubts that this year's trip is something other than a team effort.
In related news, the Kountze Lionettes basketball team lost in the first round of the state tournament to eventual champion Brock.
In softball news, the FYI Television team lost to Zion Lutheran Church last night 10-8, despite a tremendous performance by a relatively unknown kid in right field. The kid went 2/4 with a homerun in the 5th, sparking a late comeback that just fell short.
The Troopers will be taking on Omni Consumer Product tonight at 6:30. Rumor has it the kid will be making his debut on the mound.
The Lions dropped down in class this year due to the UIL realignment. They lost their head coach - Todd Sutherland left to take over at Hardin-Jefferson - and they nearly lost their best player - Ashton Hall transferred to Silsbee before returning to the Lions in time for basketball season.
But first-year coach Duane Joubert has Kountze headed back to Austin. And after his team's third win of the season over East Chambers on Saturday, he may have eliminated any doubts that this year's trip is something other than a team effort.
In related news, the Kountze Lionettes basketball team lost in the first round of the state tournament to eventual champion Brock.
In softball news, the FYI Television team lost to Zion Lutheran Church last night 10-8, despite a tremendous performance by a relatively unknown kid in right field. The kid went 2/4 with a homerun in the 5th, sparking a late comeback that just fell short.
The Troopers will be taking on Omni Consumer Product tonight at 6:30. Rumor has it the kid will be making his debut on the mound.
Monday, March 07, 2005
Roll call
I have been enjoying the time-wasting art of blogging and blog reading for 2+ months now. It is time to give a shout out to those who help me make it through the day.
Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm
Belldoorlover21
Kimberly
Rachel
Candi
Zany Sports Lady
Kerouaced
and these two are relatively new to me, but very funny.
Terror Planet
The Help Desk
Please feel free to visit their sites, but come back.
Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm
Belldoorlover21
Kimberly
Rachel
Candi
Zany Sports Lady
Kerouaced
and these two are relatively new to me, but very funny.
Terror Planet
The Help Desk
Please feel free to visit their sites, but come back.
Tighter than a frog's...
While reading my Sunday paper, I came across this disgusting little amphibian in the coupon section.
The picture won't display so here is a link to see the ass-wiping frog.
Who are the geniuses that came up with a frog wiping his ass for their ad campaign? If you visit the product website, you can see an actual animation of the frog cleansing his tainted rectum.
It's all downhill from here.
While reading my Sunday paper, I came across this disgusting little amphibian in the coupon section.
The picture won't display so here is a link to see the ass-wiping frog.
Who are the geniuses that came up with a frog wiping his ass for their ad campaign? If you visit the product website, you can see an actual animation of the frog cleansing his tainted rectum.
It's all downhill from here.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Neighborhood watch
Shaky Dennis is gone. He moved out last Sunday. It seems that the proper amount of funds were not making it to the leasing office. In fact, his mom paid rent the first month and he never paid after that. He spent it all on booze. Sad, because the guy was always drinking Red Dog. Nasty.
As a friend was loading his stuff into a truck, I asked about my 5 dollars. He said he'd return with it next week. Yeah, and monkeys fly out my butt.
Apparently, my neighbor Jose is getting jealous and worries that I'm going after his old lady. He couldn't be farther from the truth. While I have been going over there to watch cable (since I only have rabbit ears), I'm definitely not hitting on Candace. Haven't really gotten to know him because he works late and I work early, but he's off today. Think I'll go over and have a few beers with him to smooth things over.
As a friend was loading his stuff into a truck, I asked about my 5 dollars. He said he'd return with it next week. Yeah, and monkeys fly out my butt.
Apparently, my neighbor Jose is getting jealous and worries that I'm going after his old lady. He couldn't be farther from the truth. While I have been going over there to watch cable (since I only have rabbit ears), I'm definitely not hitting on Candace. Haven't really gotten to know him because he works late and I work early, but he's off today. Think I'll go over and have a few beers with him to smooth things over.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Tequila!!
Last night I had a few beers and a shot of tequila. I wouldn't normally shoot tequila unless it's the summer months or I have travelled below a certain degree of latitude (or attitude). This, however, was a free shot. Can't pass on a free shot.
I have found that my favorite tequila is Patron Silver. But you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. Or princess, whatever. Figure of speech.
My friend had a bottle of Tina tequila in high school. That is the worst rot-gut tequila I have ever tasted. We used it solely as the final drink in our Circle of Death games.
Jose Cuervo is okay, but isn't as smooth as I'd like.
My aunt brought back a large blue bottle from Mexico that I really liked but the name just doesn't come to me right now.
I have found that my favorite tequila is Patron Silver. But you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. Or princess, whatever. Figure of speech.
My friend had a bottle of Tina tequila in high school. That is the worst rot-gut tequila I have ever tasted. We used it solely as the final drink in our Circle of Death games.
Jose Cuervo is okay, but isn't as smooth as I'd like.
My aunt brought back a large blue bottle from Mexico that I really liked but the name just doesn't come to me right now.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
I love this game
The Kountze High School girls basketball team is headed to the state tournament. The girls are ranked #3 in the state.
The defending State Champion Kountze boys basketball team has been ranked #1 in the state all season. The Lions easily defeated Elkhart in their first playoff game 105-59.
I wonder if a high school has ever won a state title for both boys and girls in the same sport, same season?
Sadly, I did not play varsity basketball at Kountze High School. Partly because my focus was on football and baseball. Also because I'm a goofy white guy with no ups or ball-handling skills.
The defending State Champion Kountze boys basketball team has been ranked #1 in the state all season. The Lions easily defeated Elkhart in their first playoff game 105-59.
I wonder if a high school has ever won a state title for both boys and girls in the same sport, same season?
Sadly, I did not play varsity basketball at Kountze High School. Partly because my focus was on football and baseball. Also because I'm a goofy white guy with no ups or ball-handling skills.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)