A place where even squares can have a ball

If you ever get a chance to visit Oklahoma, don't. Just do something else. Oklahoma is unremarkable to say the least. I was not impressed. at all. The beer there is like water. 3.2% alcohol. I probably had about eight...teen of them and wasn't even feeling it. That's when I switched to the Kentucky Deluxe.

We didn't do well in the tournament. Went 3-4 (7 games!) and lost all of our games by 3 runs or less. Generally, the hits were few and far between. Although we did finally get crunked up in the last game, scoring 22 runs. More than we'd scored the entire day.
In between games we drank whiskey and beer while listening to Dwight Yoakum and April Wine. It was a good time despite all of the losing.
Although my arm is pretty much dead, the rest of my body is not as sore as I imagined it would be.

I have decided that all of this softball is going to have an impact on my outward appearance. Therefore, I'm now growing a full-on goatee.
Soon I'll either begin cultivating a mullett or shaving my head.
Then I'll get a pair of baseball pants (breaking a vow I made after my senior year of high school baseball to never wear those again).
Eventually I will muster up the courage to get a barbed wire tattoo on one arm and a Tazmanian Devil tat on the other (or possibly one of those cool tribal ones, maybe even a Chinese symbol).
I'll carry around a ginormous wheeled softball bag filled with dozens of bats and hundreds of various weighted balls.
I'll talk extensively of the differences between ASA and USSSA (U-trip) leagues.
I'll begin taking steroids to bulk up (show off those killer tats) and wear sleeveless shirts (maybe even a shimmel shirt once in a while).
I'll play in beginner leagues during the week to show off and build my confidence, then play state tournaments in odd places (like Oklahoma City) on the weekends.
I'll drop my whole paycheck on the newest Miken bat just to be the first guy swinging it.
Then I will truly become the true definition of the redneck softball junky.
I am well on my way.