Won't you be my neighbor?

There are 8 apartments in my building, counting mine.
The guys across from me got evicted. I think they were illegals.
The guy below me sells vacuum cleaners and insists my name is Dwayne. Fuck him.
Haven't met the people across from and below me.
The guy diagonal from and below me is bald and works for the city. His truck always looks like it's ready for a car show.
The guy next to me on the same floor is Shaky Dennis with the bad alcohol problem. He's the one who got carted off in the ambulance. He owes me 5 dollars.
The family below him no habla engles, except for the kid. The mother washes cars for people in the parking lot. I think I'll have her do mine when the income tax return arrives.

The newest neighbors I have met are Candace and Jose. They are the coolest ones yet. I haven't talked to Jose much because he's a chef and works late, but he seems pretty cool. Candace is a 21-year-old drunk who likes to pop pills. She invited me over to watch American Idol and drink beer. Jose's friend Jorge is living with them until he finds a job or gets picked up on warrants - whichever comes first. We watched the show and drank beer. Then lo and behold they pulled out a bottle of my old friend Kentucky Deluxe. We took shot after shot until I forced myself to stumble down and back up the stairs to my bed.
These are my kind of people.