Does a polar bear shit in the snow?

I have decided to devote my life to becoming a professional Texas Hold 'Em player. I've got a great poker face. I just smile all the time. No matter what. And everytime I look at my cards, I drink. No matter what. Maybe that's why I smile all the time. Or maybe it's because I have a good hand. Or maybe I'm bluffing. You just don't know.

It's 27 degrees outside and feels like 15 with the wind chill. I've heard reports of snow flurries west of here. WTF?! This is Texas.
I hate this. I hate it I hate it I hate it.
Give me tropical sands, warm sun, and bikini-clad women. Give me a margarita and a Corona. Extra limes.
Don't give me this ARCTIC BLAST/WINTERY MIX bullshit.
I don't care if I ever drink another drop of hot cocoa in my life.
I've asked myself this before and I'll ask it again....Why did I ever move North?