I'm too old for this shit (continued...)

It's still cold down here. We played a doubleheader last night - lost the first, won the second. Running in cold weather SUCKS. It feels like I'm wearing a huge rubberband around my chest.
I went home after the games and watched Prisonbreak on my redneck TiVO (VCR). It was really good.

I'm leaving after work tomorrow (my birthday) to do the interview with the EvilEmpire company. I hope it goes well.
My mom's side of the family is having a get-together for me later that night. I only require 3 things on my birthday.
1. Steaks
2. Beers
3. Fire
If those 3 things are there I'm good. If it rains we can substitute the fire with bowling.

Saturday I'm going back to SFA for homecoming. It should be fun - tailgating, BBQ, Texas Hold 'Em, excessive drinking. You know the routine.

Like Oil and Water...

Boxers and thermal underwear do not mix.

It's cold down here, people. I hate it.
Why did I move north?

I got a big fuckin' snake, man

Last dove season I was walking through some trees, minding my own. Juggling a 12 gauge and a 12 ounce when I almost stepped on this big nasty Diamondback. I dropped the beer and raised the gun. Then it was go time.
When the dust had settled, the snake was dead and I was freakin' out.
So I called it a day and got drunk by the fire. Then we skinned the bastard and grilled it with an italian dressing marinade. It was excellent.

A very brave man

Hung like a horse(fucker)

This is waaaaaay messed up.
According to the report, "the Seattle man died of acute peritonitis due to perforation of the colon."
So he wasn't pitching, he was catching. I mean, really. Whoa. Have you ever seen a horse's dong? Poor sick depraved bastard. What a way to go. [shudders]

Divine Intervention?

Apparently, someone upstairs agrees with me. Let's get it done tonight, boys.

GO 'STROS!!!!!

So Proud

The New Guy is a yankee. Other than that he's pretty cool. We're getting along okay. He sits around and surfs the internet all day like me. We talk sports and TV shows. We crack jokes and make fun of co-workers behind their backs. He's coming along just fine.
I was really impressed when he said, "I'm so bored at work. I started a blog today."
Now I'm on a mission to find it.

CURSE WORDS

ALBERT PUJOLS IS A BAD MO'FO'. LET'S WALK HIM NEXT TIME. OKAY?

A Clever Title

I made a trip home this weekend to see the folks and get a first-hand account of the damage. I was prepared to see some pretty awful things. It wasn't as bad as I'd feared.
There are tons of trees down and lots of damaged roofs. The main issue is property damage and the lack of assistance from FEMA and insurace agencies.
Monetary issues, really. Everyone I encountered had plenty to eat and enough bottled water to keep them hydrated for months. The majority of the area has electricity and a lot of schools have even reopened.
I knew everything was going to be alright when I heard they were playing high school football this weekend. To make up for lost time, the kids are playing 5 games in 2 weeks. That's got to be rough.
I ate my first MRE. Peas and pasta. Disgusting but not vomit-enducing.
My grandmother's house is still sans roofing except for a blue tarp that cost them $800 to get installed. 800 bucks to throw a tarp up and tack it down. Price gougers are the lowest form of life on the planet.
I spent the better part of Saturday with a chainsaw in my hand. We cut, hauled, and burned 3 trees at my mom's then watched the USC-Notre Dame game. Great game. Not the end result I wanted but still fun to watch.
Crockett Street (kind of like 6th street for Beaumont) reopened so we went down there Saturday night for my cousin's birthday. It was packed. Guess everyone needed to blow off some steam. I saw some old friends and tried to avoid talk of the hurricane. That was impossible. I crashed at my cousin's house and left in the morning before they were awake.
I met up with my dad's side of the family for dinner and the Cowboys game Sunday afternoon. We won ugly in OT. Then I drove home and did a lot of thinking.
I'm sort of at a crossroads right now. I have an interview scheduled for a great job in Beaumont next week. I'm not unhappy at my current job but I would really like a little more financial freedom.
I don't like the uncertainty of not knowing where I'll be in the next few months. If I get the job I'll definitely take it and move back home. It pays A LOT more than what I make now. If not, I'll stay here and continue schlepping away for my meager wages. But I'll be happy either way.

Fully Clothed and Intoxicated Thursday

It's not half-nekkid or anything but here are some pics from the wedding we threw together during Hurricane Rita.

Up top you've got the JP, the groom, his cousin, and me. I was obviously distracted. or drunk. and judging from the bottom pic it's the latter. Notice how my left eye closes up when I smile too big? That's how you know when I'm inebriated.

These are my boys. I have attended or will be attending all their weddings sometime in the future. Except the blonde. He'll probably never get married either.

Here I am walking with one of the bridesmaids, a very good friend of mine and the fiancee of the balding member of my crew (far right).

That's my lame-ass attempt at HNT. Have a good one.

Best. Weekend. Ever.

Friday night I went to the bonfire party in Midlothian. There was no fire, but plenty of food and free beer. I wasn't expecting much from the night. Just a few drinks, a couple games of ping pong, and maybe a shot of tequila or three. When we got there I learned that they were frying a turkey! and they had an electronic dartboard!
That made my night right there, but as a bonus there were also a lot of fine ladies running around the party.
I had lots of beers and several tequilas, then whooped some ass at cut-throat cricket (3 bullseyes in a row).
At the end of the night, FIS gave me a ride and I talked to his GPS system the whole way back to Arlington.
"Kit, take us home."
"Kit, where is the closest IHOP?"
"Kit, how long will it take us to get to Shiner, Texas?"

I awoke Saturday on FIS's couch, where I would spend most of the day. The crew came over and we cooked monster cheeseburgers, drank more beer, and watched Texas kicked the dogshit out of OU. It was pretty brutal.
I hung around later on that night as well. We cooked steaks and watched the Astros beat the Braves to take a 2-1 lead in the series. Then I went home and slept for about 10 hours. It was a good day.

Sunday morning I went to the American Airlines Center with SaltDog. The Mavericks were doing an autograph session from 11-12. We bought some photos, a basketball, and a Mavs flag. I ended up with an autographed Jerry Stackhouse photo, Dirk Nowitzki photo, and got my flag signed by Keith Van Horn and Derrick Armstrong. It was pretty cool to meet the Mavs, even if it was only for a second.
I took a lot of pics and when they get developed, I'll post them.
Then I met George and his new girl at Buffalo Wild Wings in Grapevine.
My Cowboys "manhandled" the Eagles, to use the words of Mr. Bledsoe. Not even a close game. I was stoked.
Meanwhile, the Astros were playing a marathon game with Atlanta that went into the 18th inning. Burke hit the walk-off homer and my team is going to St. Louis to face the Cardinals.
It was a great weekend for me and for Texas teams in general.

Fire it up

Softball has officially taken over my social life. Teammates have become my main source of social interaction. I've been introduced to a whole culture of softball junkies. They're drawing me in. I've played 9 games in the past week and had to turn down an offer to play more Saturday. My legs and my shoulder need a rest, however brief it may be. I've also got to mend some fences with relationships that've suffered from this most recent addiction.

My mood at work is generally determined now by the previous night's performance on the field.
0/4: stay out of my way. Do not make direct eye contact.
1/4: just leave me alone.
2/4: hey how's it going?
3/4: sure. no problem.
4/4: woo hoo it's great to be alive!

Speaking of ball, the Astros lost to the Braves last night. It was shaping up to be a great pitching duel - Clemens vs. Smoltz. But like Steve said, The Rocket doesn't really get warmed up until the second round or so. Stealing Game 1 in Atlanta gave the boys a good chance to wrap it up at home though, beginning with a crucial Saturday night game at Minute Maid with Oswalt starting.

I'm pretty stoked about this weekend. No softball tournaments, but LOTS of good football to watch and a bonfire.
That's right it's bonfire season again. The temperature outside is about 50 degrees and my 3rd baseman is having a housewarming party tonight. He lives out in the boonies (Midlothian), so we got a keg and some thermal underwear. It's on. I love sitting around a fire on a cold night.

Then I'll get up Saturday and go meet the rest of the crew to watch Texas finally beat OU in the Red River Shootout. The odds makers have Texas favored by 14, but I'm pretty skeptical about that. I'm saying Texas by 7 or less.
Then the Cowboys play the Eagles Sunday evening. Dallas really needs to get back on track. I think the running game has been the focus of opposing defenses this year, so the passing game should be our focus in the first half this week. Score early, score big, then set up the running game to shut down Philly in the second half.
And for crying out loud STOP T.O.!!! If that cocky bluegum showoff steps foot in any blue stars this weekend with a football in his hand... end him.
I think you know how to handle that, 31.

You're puttin' the pussy on a pedestal

Rita's refugees have returned home. Order has been somewhat restored and electricity is available in much of the Southeast Texas area. Lots of money is being made by entrepeneurial (think that's the way you spell it) spirits with chainsaws, tractors and backhoes. My uncle's house was a total loss. I'm going back soon to check it all out and take pictures. I'll try to post them here.

We played really good softball in the first 3 games of the tournament this Saturday. Then everything went to shit.
Finished in 5th and had fun anyway. Drank lots of beer afterwards and harassed a skunk (Danger is my middle name).

I went to see the 40 Year Old Virgin. Absolutely hilarious film. I laughed until I cried when Steve Carrell got his chest waxed. Even though I knew what was going to happen because it was in all the previews, it was still one of the funniest things I've ever seen. To sacrifice himself for a good laugh like that bumps him WAY up my list of favorite comics. Great movie. Go see it immediately.

Cal: You're *gay* now?
David: No, I'm not gay I'm just celibate.
Cal: I think? I mean, that sounds ga- I just want you to know this is like the first conversation of like three conversations that leads to you being gay. Like... there's this and then in a year it's like, "Oh you know, I kinda wanna, ya know, get back out there but I think I like guys" and then there's the big, "Oh I'm I'm a g-gay guy now".
David: You're gay for saying that.
Cal: I'm gay for saying that?
David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How? How do you know I'm gay?
David: Because you macramed yourself a pair of jean shorts.
Cal: You know how I know *you're* gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women any more.
David: You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal: How? Cuz you're gay? and you can tell who other gay people are.
David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You like Coldplay.
David: You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You like the movie "Maid in Manhattan".
Cal: You know how I know *you're* gay?
David: How?
Cal: I saw you make a spinach dip in a loaf of sour dough bread once.
David: You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You have a rainbow bumpersticker on your car that says "I love it when *balls* are in my face".
Cal: That's *gay*?

Haziz: Do you know how I know you're gay? Because you are holding each other ever so gently.

Previews use to be one of my favorite things about going to the theater to see a movie. They use to show a few brief snippets of the film and maybe a catchphrase or two, but still leave enough of the plot unknow to actually peak my interest.
Not so much anymore.
Now they cram basically the entire plot, all the sweet crash scenes, and a few gratuitous half-nekkid shots in a 2 minute trailer. What's the point in seeing the movie if you already know what's going to happen?
Like Titanic. I knew the boat was going to sink the whole time. No big surprise there.

GO ASTROS!!!!!!!!!!!