Bowling, beer, breakfast burritos, and a book

Just for the record, this weekend wasn't as good as the last one. I went bowling and drinking Friday with friends. My boss tagged along.
When you make an ass in front of your supervisor, have a drink.
When you start telling him about all the inter-office relationships he doesn't know about, have another.
When your friends start talking about smoking weed in front of your boss, have two more drinks and a shot of Jager.
When your boss leaves and you feel relieved that you can finally truly relax, have a drink.
Hell, have another drink just because it's Friday.

Then wake up at home in bed and wonder how you got there.

Just for the record, Saturday was spent in a state of dehydrated hell. I did make it out to the library, however, and got another Palahniuk book. Diary, it is called. I devoured it along with my breakfast burritos. It was the inspiration for this post.

Working for the weekend

Quittin' time. It's almost here.
That wonderful time of the week when working-age adults turn into antsy little boys and girls again. Staring at the clock. Waiting, waiting, waiting...
No force of nature or act of God could keep me from staying here one minute longer than absolutely necessary today.
Avoid your boss like the plague. Find something to look busy. Watch that clock.
Won't be long now. I can almost taste it.
Set 'em up Joe, and play Walkin' the Floor.
Come on. Hurry up.
Tic
Toc
Tic
Toc
Tic
Toc
TIC
fuckin'
TOC.

Won't you be my neighbor?

There are 8 apartments in my building, counting mine.
The guys across from me got evicted. I think they were illegals.
The guy below me sells vacuum cleaners and insists my name is Dwayne. Fuck him.
Haven't met the people across from and below me.
The guy diagonal from and below me is bald and works for the city. His truck always looks like it's ready for a car show.
The guy next to me on the same floor is Shaky Dennis with the bad alcohol problem. He's the one who got carted off in the ambulance. He owes me 5 dollars.
The family below him no habla engles, except for the kid. The mother washes cars for people in the parking lot. I think I'll have her do mine when the income tax return arrives.

The newest neighbors I have met are Candace and Jose. They are the coolest ones yet. I haven't talked to Jose much because he's a chef and works late, but he seems pretty cool. Candace is a 21-year-old drunk who likes to pop pills. She invited me over to watch American Idol and drink beer. Jose's friend Jorge is living with them until he finds a job or gets picked up on warrants - whichever comes first. We watched the show and drank beer. Then lo and behold they pulled out a bottle of my old friend Kentucky Deluxe. We took shot after shot until I forced myself to stumble down and back up the stairs to my bed.
These are my kind of people.

Split my wig

DAMN that shit hurts. I was walking around in the attic at work, looking for old files from the previous millenium when I cracked my head on a metal rafter. No one was around to see me, so I'm not too embarassed. But I now have a nice little bit of blood in my hair. This sucks. My head is ringing. I'm going home.

Microton

I saw these guys at a show in Dallas last year. They are pretty damn good and the website lets you hear 4 complete songs. My favorite is Dirty Bad Mattress. The band is called Microton.

Thanks once again to Candi for showing me how to post links.

Kind of stupid...

This is dumb but I got nothing else to post.

Here are the rules:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

The closest book I have available (since I'm at work) is Pharmaceutical Process Validation Second Edition

"The activation energy Ea and mechanism of heat degradation for the product under consideration should be known so that sterilization temperature and time parameters can be coordinated to minimize degradation. During the cycle development work, various combinations of time and temperature should be evaluated for their effect on product stability. The same delivered F0 can be achieved with lower temperatures and longer times or vice versa; however, if activation energy is a key factor in product degradation, a longer cycle at lower temperatures may be appropriate."

Breathtaking, I know. What a page-turner.

For something a little more intersting, check out the sequel to Kimberly's erotic tale at http://mercurialenergy.blogspot.com

Beer, backflips, boobies, and bogeys

This was one of the best weekends I've had in a really long time. Here's the rundown.

Friday:
Hit a bar with some friends. Some band was playing that I'd never heard of. They started out pissing me off with a Big and Rich song. I despise Big and Rich. Then they did a 30 minute medley which included every popular song a group of white boys could play. They covered everything from Digital Underground's Humpty Dance to Poison's Every Rose Has Its Thorn. I was actually kind of impressed.

Saturday:
My old college roommate has the perfect job. He's a motocross nut who paid for his college education by starting a dump truck company in high school and building motocross dirt tracks. He now runs the freestyle motocross tour and travels around the country running shows. This weekend they were in Dallas, so a group of about 15 friends got together and went to see the show. It was fuckin awesome. The tricks were all very tight. No accidents. And the last guy did 4 backflips.
Afterwards, we all decided to go to the Cabaret Royale and see some titties. I love strippers. Strippers love me. It's a nice relationship. I actually ended up with a phone number.
Ended the night by drinking scotch and playing hold 'em with some friends until 5 in the morning.

Sunday:
I woke up at 11 on the couch. No car, no golf clubs, and a tee time at 1. It was close, but I made it to the course at 12:55. Actually played rather well and ended up winning 20 bucks. Not too shabby. Afterwards, it was Hooter for some naked hot wings and beer. The waitress was hot, too.

So that was my weekend. I really needed it because this week is going to be hectic at work.

I do have one more thing to say (this has been a long post for me). We lost a great writer and interesting character over the weekend. Hunter S. Thompson apparently shot himself. If you've never seen the movie or read the book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, I highly recommend it. Moment of silence for the godfather of gonzo journalism, please.