Friday, May 06, 2005

Big Dumb Animals

We got our asses handed to us last night in softball. We scored 3 runs. Only because the other team's right fielder was a stubby little oompa loompa. Then we celebrated the Cinco-th at Gators and watched the Mavs choke.
In the 4th quarter, the Rockets couldn't miss and the Mavs couldn't buy a bucket. The loss forces a Game 7 Saturday night in Dallas.
Saturday is my oldest friend's wedding shower/pool party celebration thing. It's gonna be off tha chain. Big BBQ pit, pool, bikinis, a KEG, and a basketball game. Damn I can't wait.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

...Another One Bites the Dust

The oddball quit this morning. Hayzoos Kreesto, we can't keep anyone working around here. At least I don't have to act all professional and stuff anymore. I love having my own big office.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Haiku for you

Mom
Birth to me you gave.
On this, the Fourth of May, have
a Happy Birthday

Candi
Drinking in public
while on probation may have
got you put away

Luckyspinster
Lulu Fabulous.
now there's an appropriate
name for a great play

Latigo Flint
The quickest quickdraw
in the world was born too late.
Dreams a girl kills him.

Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm
Steve writes posts that are
descriptive, funny, and true.
Cubs will never win.

Belldoorlover
Allergic to much,
she dances like a stripper.
Falls like a giraffe.

Blog Ho
Writes of vaginas
and makes me giggle out loud.
He is funny. RAR.

Rachel
Lives in Montana
and works outside on the phone.
Damn, are yall hiring?

Toren
She is a redneck,
says, "Petey get your helmet!",
and loves chili dogs.

Ol' Hoss
From the Old Folks Home,
determined to make a pile,
don't call it a blog.

Boobs, Injuries, and Dr Pepper
She's somewhat insane
and has ginormous boobies.
Always speaks her mind.

One Down...

We've lost the first of our 2 new hires. The normal one decided this wasn't the job for her. She made it all of one day. Can't say I blame her. It must seem like an overwhelming amount of work to catch up on. No one has actively held that position since the turn of the century.
It leaves me stuck with the oddball. She wears coloful socks with her dress shoes. Colorful socks with flowers stitched into them. Weird.

New song - "Vitamin R" Chevelle

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Hybrid Sports Theory

We've hired 2 new employees for my department. They are both smart, unattractive, older women. Really unattractive. Much older. No eye candy for Darrel. One seems pretty normal. The other one, not so much...
She is odd, to say the least. Seems to know what she's doing, though.
So now I have to share my office with womenfolk.
No more farting out loud and laughing.
No more mid-day Pantera.
No more nose picking.
No more practicing the golf swing.

In other news, the Mavs won! We played a tripleheader last night, so I didn't actually get to watch the game. I did use my cell phone to check the score, though. Good job, Mavs.

While walking the dog last night, I stopped to watch some Mexicans playing soccer at the tennis court. There were about a dozen guys out there. No net or boundary lines. Just two white shirts tied to opposite ends of the court representing their goals. It was about 11:00 on a Monday night, 55 degrees.
It caused me to ponder this question - "Where would we be without sport?"
What would we do if the world's collective memory of any physical organized competition was suddenly erased?
If nobody knew about baseball, football, basketball, hockey, golf, etc., etc., what new games would we invent?
Would we even bother? Of course we would. It's only natural to compete.
But I wonder what sports would reappear relatively unchanged, and which would be radically different.
Would dodgeball and baseball combine so that hitting an opposing player on his way to a base was considered an out? (This is how we played growing up.)
Would golf require the presence of a goalie near the hole. (That'd sure make it more interesting to watch.)
All these thought ran through my head while watching the improvised soccer match. Then my dog took a poop and I went inside and slept.

Monday, May 02, 2005

DFW Sportstalk

Okay, I've figured out that the Statcounter is an amazing tool.
I've had 4 hits since Friday from someone doing a Google search for "ass wiping frog".
I'm also seeing an increase in traffic because the Luckyspinster gave me a shoutout. Thank you, Callie.

It has been a good weekend for sports fans in DFW.
The Mavs evened the series with Houston at 2 games, thanks in large part to some clutch jumpers by Michael Finley. Marquis Daniel also made an outstanding defensive play to seal the victory. The Mavs return home to the AAC tonight for Game 5.
The Cowboys completed their rookie mini-camp. Defensive players Ware and Spears looked good, while surprise pick Canty worked on rehabbing his knee. The 'Boys also signed veteran Pro-Bowl cornerback Aaron Glenn this weekend, a day after he was released by the Texans.
The Desperadoes lost yesterday and continue to struggle to stay atop their division.
The Rangers won one of three at home to Boston, and travel to Oakland today for a 3-game series.

Thank you, that is all.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Daddy needs a new pair of shoes

I may have a gambling problem. The problem? I always lose.
Star woke me at 11:30 this morning with the bright idea of heading to the horsetrack. I had about 50 bucks to spend until payday this Friday.
What the hell, right? Turn that 50 into 150. That was the plan, anyway.
Never works out that way. I was up, then down, then down more, then up a little bit. I had this great trifecta box worked out for the fourth race - 10, 9, 7.
Somewhere in the deep dark crevices of my intuition a voice spoke up, "That 45-1 shot with the female jockey sure ran a fast race at this length the last time."
I should've bet on the long shot. That bitch totally screwed my trifecta. The finish was 6(longshot), 10, 9, 7. If I'd bet win, place, or show on her I would've been up about 150.
Maybe I should've just went to church instead.

And Spencer's drunk ass broke his leg trying to jump a fence last weekend. He's laid up in Irving, eating pills and being waited on hand and foot. The lucky bastard.