Blogger is hungry

Because it ate my post last night. After nearly a half-hour of typing about my great-grandfather and his antics, Blogger decided not to let me post. And it deleted the story.
Guess I should have saved first. I hate you, Blogger. Seriously. you suck.

A man's home is his castle. A seaman's home is the sea. A whore's ass and a whiskey glass is home enough for me.

Damn, what got into me? I know, it was a combination of excessive amounts of alcohol and not being able to sleep because of the time change.
Never challenge a bartender to a drinking contest on a weekday. No matter how hot she is. Save those bold exaggerations of your kick-assedness for weekends and holidays. It was a tie. Neither of us puked and the bar closed.
Not too bad of a hangover this morning, since I had nearly a gallon of water before passing out at 3. The pinky finger is throbbing like a sonofabitch, though.
My apologies for the random comments. This is why I don't (shouldn't) drink (much) during the week. Forgive me. You've all been there before.
At least no one answered my drunk dials.

No singing only drinking

Hard to type. Wow, did good there. I refuse to hit the backspace bittton,. Drunk as shit and I'm going to leave lots of comment on all yor blogs. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

for candi

Couldn't get the bitmap to post, so here's the link.

It's growing on me

I've decided to temporarily do away with the clean-shaven nice guy image. I am growing a goatee. Well, actually it's just some chin hair. I can't grow anything worth keeping around the corners of my mouth. It ends up being asymmetrical, with 4 hairs on the left and 20 on the right. Just wanted to let you guys know. So now you can imagine the picture up top as having some fuzz on the chin.
Also, my dad gave me an old guitar and his mountain bike. He has about 10 guitars and can't ride the bike anymore because of his back. Hopefully, by the end of this week I will have a couch as well.

Oh shit, almost forgot. I saw the ass-wiping frog on TV last night. The commercial had him in the background doing you-know-what. And the world did not come to an end.... yet.

You can't handle the truth

Okay, I must come clean. I didn't go to a bachelor party this weekend. I lied. Not sure if I should tell you this, but there may be a career change in my not-too-distant future.
I took an aptitude test for the EvilEmpire company back home.
It was fairly easy, but timed. If offered a job there, I may be moving back home. The pay would be about $8,000 more a year without overtime. Plus I would be closer to the family. And I could live with my folks for free until I get an apartment, which would allow me to pay off the piles of debt. Big heaping piles.
The downside is that I'd be leaving this job in the pharma industry. And I'd probably have to do shift work. But money talks and the bullshit pay I get here will make me walk.
Guess I have some soul-searching to do and stuff. Hell, I don't even know if the EvilEmpire will hire me. It does help that Paw-paw worked there for 35 years, though. He is hell-bent on getting me to move back. I just don't know.

It's a New Record

Officially 4 hours and 3 minutes from the Exxon in Kountze to my door in Bedford. Would've been 4 hours flat, but I came across a county mountie in Midlothian and had to slam the brakes. My poor dog. Refuses to wear his seatbelt, so he bumped his head on the glovebox. He'll live. Gotta give a shout-out to my radar detector again. That could've been a hefty fine (80 in a 55). Best 40 bucks I ever spent.

Caught my little brother's tee ball game Friday afternoon. If you're feeling depressed, unhappy, and need a laugh, go to your local little league park. Watching a gang of anklebiters playing a game they love but do not comprehend will definitely put things in perspective. It reminded me of the way a group of ducks will chase a piece of bread in the park.

Amazingly, a crawfish boil materialized this weekend. I was happy to attend and assist in the purging (salt makes crawfish puke) and cooking of said decapods. Only about 100 pounds and a dozen close friends were there. A very funny conversation was had and I'll give you my account of it.
Somehow the topic got onto interesting names. Particularly those that the African-American population of our small town like to give their children. My mother has been teaching these kids for 12 years and here were her favorites:
Tequila (a girl)
Lashaquanteira (a 5 year old girl had to learn to write this so she could graduate to the 1st grade)
Orangejello and Yellojello (twins - I shit you not. Pronounced or-on-jah-lo and ya-lah-jah-lo)
And the best one of all - Shithead (Again I'm not making this up - pronounced shi-th-ay-ed)
You know the first day of school has to suck for that kid.
I personally knew twin girls in kindergarten named Yolanda (yo-lon-da) and Yolanda (yo-lan-da). I couldn't make this up if I tried.