Guess who owes the government 20 bucks?
I'll give you a hint. It's me.
Fuckin' rat bastard IRS. Always stickin' it to the workin' man.
Last year I got back about $700. This year I only made about $2000 more than last year and I OWE money? On what planet does this make sense?
It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't been counting on that extra income to go skiing this year. Well, no ski trip for me.
I'm thinking of taking a job selling oil wells in Dallas. Just call me JR.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Thursday, February 16, 2006
I didn't sell out, I bought in
On the 14th day of February you can usually find me downing longnecks at some bar and watching basketball. I tend to take the pessimistic view that Valentine's Day is a bogus holiday invented by Hallmark, Hershey's, and the restaurant industry. Bitter about being single, but glad to be a free man none the less.
This year I sold out. The timing was just too good.
I met this girl back when I was a senior in college and she was a freshman. She bowled with us on our Wednesday night league. She hung out with my fraternity all the time. She's funny, beautiful, and intelligent. But at the time she was dating one of my fraternity brothers. So nothing ever happened.
So I cooked dinner for her (stuffed bell peppers and italian asparagus) and we got wine drunk. It was the best Valentine's Day I've ever had.
Okay enough mushy bullshit. After a 2 month break, it's almost time to start the softball season back up. This year's teams are lacking depth. We need pitching. Badly. Because last year's pitcher can't play and I don't want to do it.
Also, my old roommate's dirt bike tour will be making a stop in Dallas this weekend. I went last year and had a blast. This year should be even better since damn near every person who owns a dirtbike can do a backflip. Last year we only got to see about 5 flips. I'm waiting to see if someone can pull off a front flip. or die trying.
And finally, SPORTS. The Mavs are in 1st place! Avery Johnson is a great coach. The Rangers might be getting the Rocket. or he could stay in Houston. Either one is fine with me, just so long as he stays in Texas.
And the rest of the world hates America, because we have more gold medals than them. Haters.
This year I sold out. The timing was just too good.
I met this girl back when I was a senior in college and she was a freshman. She bowled with us on our Wednesday night league. She hung out with my fraternity all the time. She's funny, beautiful, and intelligent. But at the time she was dating one of my fraternity brothers. So nothing ever happened.
So I cooked dinner for her (stuffed bell peppers and italian asparagus) and we got wine drunk. It was the best Valentine's Day I've ever had.
Okay enough mushy bullshit. After a 2 month break, it's almost time to start the softball season back up. This year's teams are lacking depth. We need pitching. Badly. Because last year's pitcher can't play and I don't want to do it.
Also, my old roommate's dirt bike tour will be making a stop in Dallas this weekend. I went last year and had a blast. This year should be even better since damn near every person who owns a dirtbike can do a backflip. Last year we only got to see about 5 flips. I'm waiting to see if someone can pull off a front flip. or die trying.
And finally, SPORTS. The Mavs are in 1st place! Avery Johnson is a great coach. The Rangers might be getting the Rocket. or he could stay in Houston. Either one is fine with me, just so long as he stays in Texas.
And the rest of the world hates America, because we have more gold medals than them. Haters.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Fuck you Mr. West
Kanye West is the definition of an ASSCLOWN. Now he's saying he belongs in the bible and that he "Changed the sound of music"?!?!
Nigga please.
Get over yourself. You're not even that talented as a rapper. Much less as a musician.
Sometimes I hate celebrities
Nigga please.
Get over yourself. You're not even that talented as a rapper. Much less as a musician.
Sometimes I hate celebrities
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
The Re-Wedding
My best friend and his wife got married this weekend... again. They're the ones who had originally planned a big fancy ceremony in Houston on Sept. 24, which was cancelled by that bitch of a hurricane Rita.
The only available time to redo the wedding was this past weekend. Super Bowl Weekend. Great.
It was a long trip down there and an even longer, hungover trip back.
But I had a really good time.
Spent too much money and missed the first half of the Super Bowl.
But I had a really good time.
I got to see an old friend who lives far, far away this weekend. Like middle of the Pacific Ocean far away.
She's the older sister of a girl I grew up with. Really intelligent. Kind of slutty in high school.
She's an absolutely gorgeous cajun woman now. Long brown hair, piercing green eyes, and a trophy wife's body.
Because that's exactly what she is now. A trophy wife.
She use to be one of those traveling nurses. She'd be in Cali one month and Carolina the next.
That was until she got a gig in Hawaii. She never really came back from that one. Met her husband the second day.
He's a doctor.
and a lawyer.
He's a hybrid Doctor/Lawyer badass poolshark, bar tab-buying Hawaiian. Who already has two kids. Another hero for my collection.
They live on one island and commute by plane to the big island for work and school.
Some people have all the luck.
The only available time to redo the wedding was this past weekend. Super Bowl Weekend. Great.
It was a long trip down there and an even longer, hungover trip back.
But I had a really good time.
Spent too much money and missed the first half of the Super Bowl.
But I had a really good time.
I got to see an old friend who lives far, far away this weekend. Like middle of the Pacific Ocean far away.
She's the older sister of a girl I grew up with. Really intelligent. Kind of slutty in high school.
She's an absolutely gorgeous cajun woman now. Long brown hair, piercing green eyes, and a trophy wife's body.
Because that's exactly what she is now. A trophy wife.
She use to be one of those traveling nurses. She'd be in Cali one month and Carolina the next.
That was until she got a gig in Hawaii. She never really came back from that one. Met her husband the second day.
He's a doctor.
and a lawyer.
He's a hybrid Doctor/Lawyer badass poolshark, bar tab-buying Hawaiian. Who already has two kids. Another hero for my collection.
They live on one island and commute by plane to the big island for work and school.
Some people have all the luck.
Did you know...
... that saccagrapas is Spanish for staple remover?
and that San Diego is Spanish for whale's vagina?
More to come.
and that San Diego is Spanish for whale's vagina?
More to come.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
A Very Early Prediction
Go ahead and put me down as saying that the grey-haired guy from Alabama (Taylor?) will win American Idol this year. I wonder what kind of odds he's getting in Vegas?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)